Why Do I Exist?

One of the many symptoms of Autism and OCD is the tendency to repeat statements and questions over and over again, such as

• "Are my hands clean?"
• "Do you like babies?" 
• "I like trains"

Most likely, this sort of behavior is a form of self-stimulation; however, one question that he has been asking caught my attention recently.  In this case. the question is 

"Why do I exist?"

Of course, this question has been pondered and questioned by almost everyone at some point. Religious scholars and philosophers can sometimes give us a glimpse into the grand design and a person's relation to it all. 

For several months, I have asked that question myself since as a parent, it is natural to want to help the child grow into adulthood and be able to cope with the world and to find some meaning to life and that becomes even more of a challenge since this child has autism with developmental delays. My wife and I have gone to many therapists in order "fix" what is wrong without getting much in the way of success. We had this notion that if we just "fix" a few things, he can succeed in life somehow.

But still, I would return to that same question of "Why do I exist?" How I thought, can I answer that question?  After a lot of pondering, I think that J and I were both asking the wrong question.  It's not "Why Do I Exist?"  it's "How do I fit into this complex puzzle we call, 'the world'?

One day, last year, I was with my wife at a local Goodwill store, checking out some clothing and various other items.  Since I also have a habit of finding books to read, I went over to the book section and did some browsing there. I picked up a hardcover book called. Writing To Learn: How to Write - And Think- Clearly About Any Subject At All. and I decided to buy it to see if I could learn something new about writing.  The book itself describes several challenges to teaching students on how to write well about any subject and how that challenge is being addressed.

In chapter 2 of the book, Mr. Zinsser describes meeting with a Chemistry professor in Minnesota to discuss this problem and the professor stated that he was going to be teaching a course on chemical discoveries that changed the world such as the periodic table of elements that were discovered by the Russian scientist  D. I. Mendeleyev.   He pointed out that the elements themselves did exist, but it was only Mendeleyev who found the commonalities in each of the elements and created the table based on his findings.
Without Mendeleyev's work, science would not be the same and mankind would not have progressed as far as we have. 

Imagine, if you will if  Mendeleyev had been told repeatedly that he just needed to work to fit into society and just accept the status quo in chemistry and forget about his work. Where would be now in the realm of knowledge? 

The astronomers Copernicus and  Galileo were told to fit in and just accept the world view of the day which held that the Earth was at the center of the universe and all of the heavenly bodies revolved around it. Copernicus and Galileo observed and saw something else and that conflicted with that world view. Where would we be without Copernicus or Galileo?

In the book of 1st Samuel, chapter 17, we read about the conflict between David and the giant, Goliath.  All of Israel was afraid to face this giant one on one, except this scrawny looking shepherd boy who saw this giant as no more powerful than any other animal that he had faced while taking care of the sheep. We all know what happened according to the story. So once again, the question to ask is where would we be without David who saw things differently?

At some point in all of our lives, there is going to be at least one challenge that can only be met with the help of one person who sees a challenge from a different viewpoint and has a different gift.  So. we need people with autism in our society simply because they see things differently. 

Autism is definitely challenging for parents, for children and for society in general; however, the question that we need to ask is "Where would we be without those challenges?"